25.02.2017: A date to remember

I have bought so many books in the past few years that my 'to-read' list kept increasing book by book. But, when it came to reading, I just couldn't read after initial few pages.

I am talking about this girl, a voracious reader through and through, once, she used to pick up a book, no matter what the plot, she'd devour it. But, one day, some day, a moment, it was perhaps, that something changed. She couldn't put a finger on it, a feeling, her mental state or whatever. She just couldn't bring herself to sit and quietly immerse herself in a book like before. She was agitated, her heart wasn't in it anymore. It was one of the saddest things. This activity was no longer an escape, no longer a refuge. She felt lost.

Today, after so long, I did. I finished a book. It might not seem like a big deal to you. But, the moment, I turned the last page to read the last sentence, the last word. God, that feeling, that moment. 

I felt so... Happy. It was an altogether different kind of joy, so peaceful. Hell, a few tears escaped, in the freaking metro :D


25.02.2017 Smriti Happy ^_^

That's me with Candy <3

Unsavoury February

Hello. How are you doing? Good, I hope. 

Just a friendly warning: Read at your own risk, it's most definitely not what you are expecting. It's going to be a morbid post full of whining. 

So.

I have been wanting to write but due to certain circumstances, I felt that I had temporarily lost my voice. It's like what's the point of writing when there's someone out there who has already expressed what I wanted to say. Now that I am putting the words down I realise how silly my concern is. But, no matter how silly it sounds, the feeling is still there.

Anyhow, I haven't been well and it's been a while. 2017 isn't being kind to me in the health department as I had hoped. It's been tiring few days, mentally and physically. Almost as frustrating as 2014, I am just coughing like a maniac these days. Internship, was my one saving grace in all of this, a good thing to look forward to however due to stupid health issues I haven't been going. I did go on the 9th of February because I was feeling better, stupidest mistake ever. Shit got worse from that day onward, not going to go into details.

And it's 13th already and well. My birthday's around the corner. Not at all in the celebratory mood, far from it. What's the point?

I am, however, in a mood for some breaking and screaming. It's so frustrating!! There is no better term for this. No going out, no eating what you want. Ugh. I can't even throw something to blow off some steam. Apart from that, I am struggling with all those feelings from last year and in a constant battle with myself regarding self-harm. So far, I have been clean since 11th December 2016, hope to remain so. Ugh.

I thought I'd get inked. But, I can't find anything that's appealing to me. I bought a book that I have been meaning to read for the longest time, don't even feel like picking it up.

I feel like I am whining/complaining too much in this post. But, who cares? 'Mah' blog, 'mah' rulez.

We are into the second month of 2017 and so far it's just been challenging. I just hope this year is not as tumultuous as it's predecessors.

Anyhow, here's a picture of a kitkat for all of those who made this far :D